I put the time on there.
Okay. Well, what color paper did you use?
I already told you. Lemon yellow.
You should have used wild berry pink.
Wild berry pink always gets people to show up.
Why are you all up in my grille?
Do you see me asking what color markers you used for the big signs?
Black and gold. With glitter?
No. Whit, what is a sign without glitter?
That is why nobody showed up!
Shh. Shh.
Do you hear that?
Someone's coming.
You ladies ready for my dope?
I don't know what that was. Our new-and-improved squad lasted exactly 97 minutes.
Don't give up yet. I mean, maybe we'll find some talent.
Where? All the cheerleaders on campus are already cheerleaders.
Then I don't know. It's not like we're gonna run into a group of people...
just spontaneously shouting out... cheers.
Yes.! What do we want?
Justice.!
When do we want it? Now!
And how will we get it?
By standing outside the dean's office...
Sorry, what? I have no idea what you just said.
Who in the hell are these people?
It's the extracurricular groups...
the ones that lost their practice space when the dean took away their funding.
Justice.! Man, they got jacked.
And how will we get it?
By standing outside the dean's office...
You guys suck.
First of all, I want to thank you guys all for coming here today to this...
What's the word I'm looking for? Hi.
Shit-hole? Thanks.
It's the only place that we could find to meet. So, anyway...
- Today we're starting a new cheerleading club on campus.
Why cheerleading, you say? Because cheerleading is fun.
And it fosters school spirit.
And it also keeps you... physically fit.
So, what do you guys say? Are you ready to cheer? Yeah!
Yes?
Most of my pieces involve anguish...
as a theme.
Do you have any cheers about anguish?
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, we have one that goes like this. Ready? Okay!
That's all right! That's okay!
So that one kind of addresses the issue of anguish... kind of.
But other than that, not really.
What about soliloquies?
- Well, we don't really have- - And what about accents?
Because I am the master...
of accents.
No. See, what we do is cheerleading.
- Then I'm out. - Me too.
No, no, no. Hold on because...
Hold on for one second. Wait, you guys.
Something Whittier forgot - Hey. Wait.
Something Whittier forgot to tell you all is...
if we're good, we can go to nationals.
Now, if we go to nationals, we could win.
If we win, we get a check for $20,000.
Now, Penelope, you could use that money...
to rent rehearsal space.
And, Francis, you could mount up a production of Godspell where everyone has a French accent.
Interesting.
Plus, we're gonna be a real squad too.
On our squad,you're gonna be able to do whatever you want - do your own thing.
And if we're good, we can stamp out the varsity cheerleading squad once and for all.
- Where do we sign up? - Right over there.
Oh, yeah.
I've been saving you since cheerleader camp. You did not have to save me.
I think the score is now Whittier, zero. Monica, three. Thanks.
Come on, silly.
This is so "ridic." Do they actually think they're a real cheer squad now?
They're real cheerleaders in the same way that Joan Rivers has a real face.
We have to crush them.
We have to take their heads and grind them into the mud...
and then stomp on their backs and then drive over them with a Jeep Cherokee S.U.V.
Marni, geez. Take a pill of the chill variety, okay?
We don't need to do anything.
We cannot have a competing spirit squad on campus, Tina.
Trust me, they won't be a threat to us.
They're nothing but a support group for rejects and losers.
Besides...
How 'bout that practice space?
And right, left, clap.
Right, clap. Left, clap. Come on, you guys.
Step left. Step right. A little bit tighter, Penelope.
Little bit tighter. Stand back, woman.
I need at least a three to five-foot radius- Oh, my...
- Roll. Roll.
Follow me.
Good. Now try three claps into a high "V."
- Okay, guys. And five, six, seven, eight.
Grab one, two- Down- Three, four- Up- Five, six. Good.
Okay, stand up now. Good. Stand up. Yeah.
Can you guys just turn around? Yeah. Face us.
Hold your stomach. Squeeze your butt.
- Don't look down. No, no, no. - Good. Good. Great.
Catch me!
Okay. This is a basic pyramid.
Matthew, you'll take the wing position here. Yeah.
- Got it. - Penelope,you're gonna swing around here...
and start your stunt there, okay?
I can't be an "O."
You can't be an "O"?
O's represent emptiness.
And by making me an "O, " you're calling me empty.
That's insane. Okay?
Uh, O's don't represent emptiness.
They represent hugs. And X's are kisses.
Everyone knows that.
Up. Up. Lock your legs.
Good. Yes! Tighter.
Double base extension. Ready? Five, six, seven, eight.
One, two and three, four.
Up.
Goodjob. Bring in the legs. Okay. You got it. Don't look down.
Don't look down. No, no, no, no.
Hey. You know, I think I...
What's up, girl? So what's going on?
What? I said, "What's going-"
Sorry.
What?
What's going on?
Oh, not much. How 'bout you?
Well, we have this new cheerleading squad.
Yeah. So I heard. And we're improving.
We're just missing something.
We don't have any rhythm. You know, no backbeat to help us bring it all together.
But if we had a great D.J....
Look, I got three jobs, this radio gig, two advanced lit classes...
I know it would mean a lot to Whittier.
Look, she feels really bad about what happened.
- She's looking for a way to reconnect with you.
Hold on. I gotta intro this next tune.
That, my friends, was the bitchin' sound ofThe Promise Ring.
This next track is dedicated to all the guys out there whose hearts have been ripped out...
and devoured for breakfast by cute, peppy, social-climbing blond girls.
Give me a "Hey." Give me a "Ho." Give me a "I don't know you anymore."
I know it sucks.
What was your question?
Forget it.
Dear Lord, help us kick almighty ass today in our debut as a spirit squad.
Help us to perform the double back handspring into a back tuck as majestically...
as your only son Jesus would.
This is a big sporting event for us.
Guide us in leading this team to victory. Bring it in.
- One, two, three! Renegades!
Come on. Croquet.
Croquet.! Yes.!
Come on! Croquet! Let's go!
Let's go, croquet.! That's right.!
Yeah. Come on, cricket.!
Ready? Okay! Okay!
That's all right. It's croquet. We're gonna...
- Come on! Come on! Yeah! Let's go! Yeah!
Croquet! Number one!
Let's go, croquet.! Let's go.!
That's right, croquet.! Let's go.!
Whoo.! Yeah.! Let's do it. All right.
Let's go, croquet.!
Let's go!
Hit that ball.! Hit that ball.!
Take that ball and hit it. What I say? Now whack it.
Yeah, now that's the ticket. Yeah, that's the ticket.
Croquet! Come on!
Is, uh, all this noise bothering you, pal?
The noise I can take.
It's the suckiness that bothers me.
Let's hit it!
Five, six, seven, eight.
* Tell me what we need Stinger pride Stinger pride *
* Tell me what we breathe Stinger pride Stinger pride *
* Tell me what we bleed Stinger pride Stinger pride *
* Tell me what we need Stinger pride Stinger pride *
* Tell me what we breathe Stinger pride Stinger pride *
* Tell me what you see Stinger pride Stinger pride *
* Tell me what we need Stinger pride Stinger pride *
Hell, yeah!
* Stinger pride Stinger pride *
Cola beverage- diet.
Wipe the spittle.
They look foolish. I mean, really. What do they have?
They have enthusiasm. So do we!
And they have the love of the crowd. Do we?
Don't even think that thought.
I'm just saying. And I'm just saying...
a person goes against his team, and he could lose his cheerleading scholarship.
Let's go. We've got work to do.
Now, Greg.!
That herkie into a cupie just before we spread the rubber with it...
That was almost as moving as the helicopter landing in Miss Saigon.
Yeah. I - I know. For a moment there, at the end, Yeah!
when we won, I experienced an emotion...
that I can only describe as moderate happiness.
How did you know where we were gonna be?
You told him?
Whittier, zero. Monica, four.
- Thanks. - Your, uh,
squad... is gonna have a real tough time winning nationals...
when, technically speaking, you don't exist.
Look around. I'd say we exist.
Who are you?
Shh - It's called a razor, scruffy boy.
You don't exist according to a little thing called Section Eight...
of the National Collegiate Cheer Association Bylaws.
Yeah. It states that, um, each university...
shall be represented by one-and only one...
O- N-E- cheer squad.
- You can't do this to us. - So make like a Tom and cruise.
This is modern-day imperialism.
Boo freaking hoo.
Uh, you missed something, sweetie.
It does say that only one team from State can go to nationals. Sí.
But it doesn't say which team.
That team could be us.
Even if all that is true, it doesn't matter.
- Mm-hmm. - Varsity has been going to nationals forever.
That is not gonna change.
It just might.
Looks like we're at an impasse.
So how 'bout you and I just figure this out right now.
Where did you get that? That does not belong to you.
Ladies, we are not going to settle things this way.
There's only one honest, impartial person on this campus who can judge who's right.
And while I admire your spunk, Miss Smith, this is a school built on tradition.
- But- - And in this case tradition favors Miss Hammersmith.
I must say, Whittier, there's a lot of good, honest wisdom behind what the dean has to say.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
Sure.
But what about the rules? Nowhere in the bylaws does it say...
that it has to be the varsity team that goes to nationals.
- Why can't it be us? - Well, sure. Legally, technically...
if you... squint your eyes just right - the rules say it could be you.
But we're talking about seven consecutive years of cheerleading excellence here.
I'm not gonna put an end to that.
Miss Hammersmith will go to nationals.
With all due respect, Dean Sebastian,
I don't think that's a decision that will go over well with the student body.
- How do you mean? - I mean, if you suppress our voices on campus,
you will be hearing from us in letters to the board of trustees...
not to mention the around-the-clock protestors that will be outside your door.
Okay, okay, okay. We get it. What the hell do you want?
A competition in front of the whole student body.
Let them decide who's better, your team or mine.
- Girl on girl. - Hmm.
Winner goes to nationals.
Listen, Whit.
We're good friends, right?
And as a good friend, I should caution you that such a competition...
could embarrass you severely.
It could destroy your already-fragile psyche.
Well, that's a risk I'm willing to take, Tina.
She can't do this, can she?
Actually, Miss Hammersmith, I think it's a splendid idea.
- We'll have a competition. - What?
- Thank you. - We'll have a competition in the field house...
this coming Saturday. What?
Wait. That's the day after tomorrow.
- If you'll excuse me, ladies, I have a lunch date. - We can't be ready by then.
We'll be ready. - Yes, you will.
This can't be happening. Oh, yes, it can.
You're the one who asked for the competition. Good day.
Ready to back out yet?
Are you kidding me? After the way you treated us?
You know I used to look up to you? But that was before I found out who you are.
An insecure "tanorexic."
Listen to me, you hobbit.
After this idiotic competition is over,
you'll be praying you were me.
You'll be finished as a cheerleader and finished here.
I will knock you so far down you'll be in the cafeteria...
with your edgy, freak of a boyfriend, putting grapes in theJell-O molds.
Oh, yeah? Mm-hmm.
Don't be all up in my Kool-Aid.
What does that mean?
The Stingers hoops team won their first exhibition contest 72-54.
And the women's softball squad dropped both games...
of a doubleheader against State A&M.
And now it's time for the CSC News Eye On Sports.
On location is beat reporter Colleen Lipman.
Thanks, Colleen. The campus is in a frenzy this week,
thanks to the big cheerleading showdown in the field house this Saturday.
Go, go, go, go. Come on, you sissy!
The varsity cheer team has been vigorously training for the event.
I'm totally not tired. Why are y'all so tired?
And State cheerleading legend, Tina Hammersmith, is confident about her team's chances.
This is nothing new to us. We've defeated some of the best...
intercollegiate competition ever assembled.
This amateur squad is just a speed bump...
on the way to nationals.
Excusez-moi. One sec.
Let's go! I didn't say stop.
How important is victory on Saturday?
Oh. It's very important. It's very important.
It- It's very important. This is very, very...
I- I cannot tell you how important this is.
It's a- It's pretty- pretty important.
Meanwhile, some people around campus...
are starting to dub the upstart competition as... the Renegades.
Head cheerleader, Whittier Smith,
insists her squad is ready to go.
We are definitely going to win.
We've got a great team, we've worked extremely hard and it's gonna be tough, but,
you know, Rocky beat Apollo Creed, right?
Uh, Whit, he lost. He what?
He lost. He lost to Apollo Creed?
To train for the event, the Renegades have taken an unusual approach,
cheering for typically under-appreciated teams such as the diving team,
the bowling club and the fencing squad.
Stab him. Stab him. Poke him in the eye.
Run the sword through till his blood runs dry.
En garde.!
Well, some people look at an impossible situation and ask why.
Others look at the same situation and ask, why not?
For the competition on Saturday,
I'm asking myself why.
Why bother? In a billion years we'll all be obliterated by a black hole anyway.
There you have it, Colleen. Back to you.
Thanks, Colleen.
Seven, eight. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
Yeah.! Shh, shh, shh.
You guys, we can't let anybody know we're in here. Really, really good job.
Don't leave any of your stuff. All right.
Think we're ready?
Well, no one fell tonight. I'm pretty happy about that.
Um, Whittier, can I talk to you alone?
Yeah. Francis, what's up? Uh,
I'm gonna level with you.
I'm getting very nervous about tomorrow. Okay?
And I'm thinking about violating myself tonight.
It's an actor relaxation technique.
What I need to know from you is what does Whittier think?
Is that a bad idea, or...
Well, it really depends. Uh,
would you say violating yourself usually hurts you or helps you?
Oh, I'd say it's made me the actor that I am today.
Okay. Then I would say hold off.
Will do, chief. Okay.
Well, well, well. If it isn't the blond leading the bland.
Last minute cram session, kiddie kiddos?
Why don't you guys worry about your own team? That's what a real leader would do.
Oh. Is that what a real leader would do?
A real leader wouldn't be practicing at midnight, Whit.
You can drill a loser all night long,
and in the morning, you still got a loser.
- Put makeup on a pig- - It's still a pig.
Oink, oink, oink, oink.
You wanna hear our cheer for tomorrow?
We're ready, we're fit, we'll smack you like a little bitch.
Oh-ho. We're tough, we're lean, step to us and we'll get mean.
Hey, ho,you know. We'll put you on the flo'
Dust off your spankies. Stand up and get some mo'.
Don't cry, don't pout, don't have yourself a cow.
You're gonna get whupped. Your mommy can't help you now.
- Come on. You can do better than that.
I can do better, bitch. Let's go.
- Come on. - Marni, chill.
Marni. No.
Get back here! We are not finished with this.
Hey, hey! Ow. Okay.
- Watch the face. - Okay, girls,
slap and tickle time is over.
Oh. Ow.!
Oh.! Right. There you go.
Ow.
Ow. Ow.
Little, uh, concealer will help that situation there.
Tina!
Paging Dr. Stateman.
I'm fine, you guys.
Yeah? Can you hold me up in the air with three crushed metacarpals?
Of course. Ow! Shit!
We should just call Tina and forfeit.
Yeah, you know what. I don't think we have a choice.
I guess tomorrow I'll go back to doing Phantom of the Opera in my dorm room. Hmm.
Wait. Hold up, guys. Listen.
Tomorrow we are gonna go into that field house and get in front of those students.
And as sure as I'm standing here right now, I can assure you that...
that we might suck.
We might totally suck, but to a real cheerleader...
it doesn't matter if you win or lose.
It only matters if you try as hard as you can...
if you give it every ounce of spirit you've got.
So, what do you say?
Who wants to suck tomorrow?
You know what? If there's one thing I'm good at in this world...
it's sucking.
- I'm in! - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey. Why suck if you could not suck?
Because we're missing Francis. It's gonna be hard.
Well, could you guys use a sub?
You're gonna lose your scholarship.
Yeah, well, whatever I lose in financial aid, I'll gain in testicles!
So I'm in.!
Okay. All right.
Come on. Let's go. Twenty-five, 26, 27,
28, 29, 30.
More.
More! Oh! Oh! Give me that!
* Co - Come on *
How are you feelin'? I feel like I wanna smile.
Good! Hey!
Ow. Ooh. You ready to kick a little?
Bring it!
* I'm feelin' a little nervous A little, little nervous *
* I really have to pee Really, really have to pee *
Check. Check.
Check!
Varsity!
Okay. Here we go.
Here, muskrat! Set!
Don't screw up. Pecs out.
Where's your water bra? I gave it to you!
Did you bleach your teeth? Did you shave? God.
Everybody, find your happy place. Mmm.
California State College, are you ready for a showdown?
Colleen, we love you.!
First up is your very own varsity cheerleading squad.
No!
Let's go! Go, go, go! Let's go!
Let's go.! Let's go, Stingers.! Go, Stingers.!
Go, Stingers!
Let's go.!
Varsity.! Varsity.! Varsity.!
Let's go, Stingers. Let's go!
Tina! Tina! Tina! Tina!
Tina.! Tina.! Tina.! Tina.! Tina.! Tina.!
Come on, you guys.
Come on, guys. Let's go.! - Come on, guys.
Let's get this show started.!
Go, Sammy.! Go, Sammy.! Go, Sammy.! Go, Sammy.!
Go, Sammy! Go, Sammy! Go, Sammy!
Go, Sammy.! Go, Sammy.! Go, Sammy.!
* Let's go *
Tina.! Tina.! Tina.! Tina.!
* Oh,yeah Here we go *
* Here we go H- H-H-Here we go *
* Uhh, uhh Go, go, go, go, go *
* R-R-R-Raise your hands all up in the air *
* Raise your hands all up in the air *
* Raise your hands your hands,your hands *
* Yeah Yeah,yeah,yeah *
* Yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah Yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah *
* Ooh,yeah we know it *
* We are the best *
* We, we We, we * * Are, are *
* The, the, the *
* Here we go Here we go Here we go *
Yeah! Yeah!
Tina.! Tina.! Tina.! Tina.!
Tina! Tina! Tina! Tina! Tina! Tina!
Let's go! Number one!
Let's do this.
Next we have a new group.
Please welcome the...
quote, Renegades, unquote.
Nice outfits.! - You guys suck.!
Monks can't cheer.!
Welcome,
ladies and gents of all ages.
Feast you eyes on a "cheergasm"like no man...
has seen before.
* Hit it *
Yeah!
Ooh!
* Get crazy *
* Crazy *
Yeah.! Whoo.!
* Get crazy The heat is on *
* Get crazy Crazy, crazy, crazy *
Stingers!
Yeah.! Yeah.! Whoo.!
- Ow. - It's cool. Okay.
Yeah! Come on!
Yeah!
Damn kids.
Come on. Let's just do it.
Hi, everyone. I'm Dean Sebastian.
I want to thank both teams for putting on a really wonderful display.
It reminds me of my student days.
- Of course, back in those days...
the cheers weren't quite as complicated.
Just tell us the winner, will you, please?
- Okay. - Thank you.
The winner, representing Cal State College...
at the National Cheerleading Championships...
Come on.!
Let's go.! Come on.!
- The Renegades! - Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
You are so pathetic!
You're pathetic! I know you wax your butt!
Do you actually think your roots are natural?
You are not born with roots!
I was too!
You did it! I know!
What'd you think?
You're right. You sucked.
Janice. Towel. Immediately!
Marni. I quit. Immediately.
Excuse me.
Oh. Hi.
Uh, I just wanted to say nice job.
Your routine was good.
Inconsistent and a tad pedestrian at times, but good.
Wow. Thanks. I'm not exactly s...
On behalf of the administration and alumni I wanna offer you and your team...
the full backing of the college.
You're our new varsity cheerleading squad.
It'll be a thrill to work with the new... bomb diggity.
Now if you'll excuse me, ladies, I have a lunch date.
So, we might need a sub for nationals.
Really? Wait. Wait.
You and me on the same team?
Of course, you'd have to audition first.
I don't audition.
Hmm. Suit yourself.
But maybe I can come help you out, you know.
I'll have to check my "sched." I could bring Marni.
Or not. I never even really liked her anyways.
It's just, I was thinking Friday we could get some "fro-yo," do some choreography.
You know, you guys.
Whittier,you have such great hair. I just - Who does you color?
- Marker. - Hmm.
Uh- S- I expect more...
Well, she's a sh- sinking ship.
Let's do that again. Oh, my God!
* You're a real tough cookie with a long history *
* Ofbreaking little hearts like the one in me *
* That's okay Let's see how you do it *
*Put up your dukes Let's get down to it *
* Hit me with your best shot *
* Why don't you hit me with your best shot *
* Hit me with your best shot *
* Fire away *
* You come on with a come-on, You don't fight fair *
* But that's okay See if I care *
* Knock me down It's all in vain *
* I get right back on my feet again *
* Hit me with your best shot *
* Why don't you hit me with your best shot *
* Hit me with your best shot *
* Fire away *
Who can settle this and judge it who's right.
- Oh, yeah? - Yes!
That's a cut. Almost had it.
* Hit me with your best shot *
* Why don't you hit me with your best shot *
* Hit me with your best shot *
* Fire away *
Give me an "S-S." Give me a "T-R." Err!
You know I'm about to get twisted, baby!
* Hit me with your best shot * It's really not coming off.
- * Fire away * - Away!
* Fire away *
Yeah!
* Fire away * God, are you losing your drawers?
Sorry.
* Fire away *
And cut!
You just wait till game day. She'll be perfect.
Oh, she's gonna be perfect on game day. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.
Shh!
* C-Come on *
Subtitles by Phaeton